tired..

at the beginning of this sem, i never thought that i would be busy like hell for the whole sem.
it seems like every single day i'm repeating doing the same things- do lab work->find info->do assignements, reports-> activities->meetings...
even though only taking 14 credit this sem, the work loads are very very heavy.
it's heavy untill i wanna cry my heart out..
after studying this course for almost two years, i feel doubtful about my ability.
am i that kind of "science person"? am i suitable in doing science?
i begin to feel tired for undersatnding n memorizing all the scientific stuff
i find it difficult for me to put in application, like what Dr K always say " u all dun know how to think. think in a staright line saja, dun know how to belok?"
ya, i agree with that with my hands and legs up
don't know why i'm getting headache n find it difficult to understand when i look through the journals, the references, the notes...
i'm wondering whether i can stand with all these seems to be high-tech things in my whlole working life
am i able to survive in this industry?
i scare i may be carzy somedays...

i have to declare that i don't like to be pessimitive. i also don't wanna blame for the environment.
but, it's just so uncontrolable i have to think negatively..
everytime when i'm in the process of thinking, my friends will come forward n ask me " why are u so stress?"
can't deny that i'm easily to get stress, but sometimes i just want to be serius n my stressful look will appear..sigh
i'm that kind of person who either be slumble or serius, that's no balance point between them
i always comfort me with "just take it as a challenge, u r in the process of learning"
n it seems like i'm cheating myself to make me feel better..

life...
i know i shouldn't say the word- "tired!"
there's somebody out there live in a miserable life like kids in africa, those who have ill sickness..
n i'm considered as one of the lucky person in this world having my lovely family n friends, able to walk n run..

but the feeling of exhaustation and tireness keeps on coming out from the bottom of my heart
i can't always tell myself "ganbade! baxia! aza! fighthing! jia you!" to move on

sometimes, resting seems like a way to get myself away from these problems
but that's only for a moment, get to face it again after recharging